The Helmet

I have lived with addiction, depression and numerous other problems that dwell within the inferior beings we know as humans.

I’ve learned that it is possible to live with these things and to live a life that is truly worth it at the end of the day.  I haven’t always thought this was possible.

I do a lot of things to stay in a better state of mind.

In the past, my weakness has driven me to do some pretty bad things.  I’ve lied to the point of being a professional that couldn’t remember what the truth was.  I’ve cheated, stolen, wounded, intimidated, thrown my anger around like it is some kind of weapon.

But all of those bad things didn’t just spring up out of nowhere and engage my wrecking ball mode.  They began inside my head.

Yep, lodged somewhere in this mass of bone called my skull, lies a particle of brain.

My brain has gathered up thoughts, facts, lies, desires and feelings, put them all in a pot, stirred them up with fear and selfishness, and produced a mess that became my reality.

My reality, of course, wasn’t so real.  But the more I lived it, the more I believed it and the more I believed it, the farther my thoughts drifted away from truth.

Ephesians 6:17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I’m only going to touch the first part of this verse today.  Tomorrow, and maybe the next day, I’ll get to the last part.

Put on the helmet of salvation.

One of the advantages of suffering with a mental illness and coming to the place where I realize my brain can’t be trusted is that I realize how devastating it can be to just let my mind run anywhere it wants and think just whatever trips its trigger.

I know that my thoughts need to be on a short leash or they will try to destroy me.  I know this.  A lot of people are walking around thinking whatever and making it reality and watching their lives spiral out of control and they don’t even know it is happening.

I’ve experienced salvation. I experienced it at a very young age.  With it came a long list of do’s and don’ts that I never was able to master.  I was never able to even come close.

That’s because I wore salvation as more of suit and tie.  It guarded what I did but it wasn’t very sturdy and it wasn’t effective.

Salvation is to be worn as my helmet, protecting my brain from all the things that I allowed to attack me for decades.

See, I was not so worried about the thoughts, I was concerned about my actions.  But thoughts will cause action.  No amount of willpower, guts, self-control, discipline or white-knuckling through life can stop them.

God wants my salvation to guard my thoughts.  If my salvation doesn’t go straight to my thinking cap, I might as well wear a spiritual dunce cap and go sit in the corner because trouble is coming.

My salvation has to overrule some of the stupid things I think, like I have no value, I am not loved, I am alone, I am useless, I am too far gone.  My salvation is the true answer to all these things and I have to hang onto that no matter how crazy my thoughts go, no matter what terrible actions I perform.

God is here, in me.  He is eternal and never changing and he loves and cares for me.  When things start getting crazy inside my head, I have to hang on to that through it all.  I have to do whatever it takes, sit around the tables with people like me that encourage me, dive into God’s word and expect it to live in me, lean hard on something bigger than me that keeps me from falling.

I have to do whatever it takes to keep that helmet on, the truth of God’s love wrapped firmly around my noggin reminding me that he is bigger than all the rest of the mess inside my brain.

Have a great day and enjoy your helmet!