A week ago, I felt kind of like giving up this blogging thing. I kind of whined and said some stuff that wasn’t so positive and uplifting.
My goal here is to be an encouraging voice. But, I can not lie to people. If I am down and not feeling it, I have to say so. Encouragement isn’t about never being discouraged. It is about getting up after I feel down.
I hate to type words of discouragement here on these pages but without them, there is no evidence of my words being in any way, shape or form representative of action on my behalf.
So, in those times when life isn’t all that great and the options ahead look bleak and tough and I’d rather just sit where I am and pout for a while, I’m going to be honest and tell you.
I learned something in my last little pouting session. I am no more able to quit writing than I am to stop pouring that first cup of coffee in the morning. The first sentence that flows into an idea or spiritual insight or analogy, engages my mind just like that first sip of hot, bitter goodness in my cup.
There are days my fingers never touch a single key on a keyboard but my mind is always writing, pulling insight from everyday life and searching for a better way to be a better man.
I’d love to be successful at this endeavor.
But, success isn’t measured in articles, miles, readers or a popularity poll. Success can be helping one person reach a place they couldn’t have reached without you.
The other night, a friend thanked me for the help I have been to him.
I have been successful. If a man feels better for allowing me into his life and helping him get through something very difficult and destructive in his life, what better success is there than that?
I’ve typed hundreds, I suppose thousands of these articles. Every now and then, someone tells me that they really needed what I wrote on the very day I wrote it. I may never hear from them again or know what that day was throwing at them but somehow, God used this jumble of words to help them through it.
I have to keep my eyes on the prize. This may be about being there (or here) for that one person in that one moment that makes all the difference. God gives me the words, he brings the readers.
I’d like to think there are millions of people out there that would benefit from what I write. But, honestly, if they are a lot like me, they don’t want to listen because I write about the need to change and most of the world doesn’t want to do that. The want affirmation. I don’t do that. Affirmation gives the impression that right where you are now is good enough. It’s not.
I write to move people. Few want to move. Most of my life I didn’t want to move. I wanted everything to come to me.
My writing also moves me. I cannot get up and move every day if I don’t set some goals and put my eye on a target. The shotgun approach to life doesn’t work for me. I need to zero in on making today better and just throwing my life at a day hoping something goes right is a waste of time for me.
So, even if I say I feel like giving up, I’m not giving up. How I feel isn’t going to dictate my next step. I’m going to make my next decision on what is right. Feelings, especially to a person that struggles with depression, tend to lie…a lot.
Here I am, where God put me, doing what God allows, to the best of my ability, for however long he asks.
Thank you to all who took the time to encourage me. I appreciate you all and love the words you poured over my wounds. Thank you, again.