OK, I don’t want to go to work today. I really, really don’t want to.
I’ll bet you want to know why. Well, I’m going to tell you even if you don’t. That’s how it is for writers, we get to say it even if no one wants to listen.
See, work did some restructuring. No one lost their jobs but a LOT of people aren’t sure of what their job is any more. Most of them don’t like where they will be doing it.
As far as I know, I’m going to just be plugging along doing the same stuff I’ve always done…too much.
So, the ones affected are terrified as to how the change is going to impact their job and, in some cases, their whole lives. The ones least affected are worried that something else is coming down the pike and they will be cast into the midst of seeming chaos.
I guess I could worry about that, too. But I’m not.
I’ve been in far worse situations. I’ve sat across the table looking at a man as he explained they could hire two guys to do what I do for the same salary. So, I was being let go.
Me. The guy that held down a job no matter how ridiculously I live my life, how irresponsibly, no matter what. I kept a job and suddenly, I was unemployed.
When I found out, the wind came out of my sails. I had, in a few short sentences, a handshake and an envelope with severance pay in it, become somehow less of who I was. I felt like crying, screaming, running, crawling, curling up in a ball and jumping off the roof all at the same time.
Honestly, I went from being depressed to hurtling into the darkest depression of my life that lasted many years.
Even when God intervened, I had still lost part of myself. I couldn’t be quite as grateful as I ought to be because I felt un-restored, lost and quite afraid of what was going to punch me in the gut next. I was afraid.
Even though God provided, I was afraid.
For some reason, I thought that at any minute, the rug would fly from under me and I’d fall and God wouldn’t be there this time, next time.
When God brought me to this opportunity, this job, I was still that same man. I came into this building afraid. Some people saw it as moody, arrogant and obnoxious, but I was afraid. I didn’t think I could do that whole losing a job thing again.
But, I will sit in my office today and not be afraid. I will see fear all around me. But, I am not going to be fearful no matter how strong the tide of fear gets. After all, a little fear can swirl into a great big storm of fear, dragging all who feel it in.
Isaiah 35:4 Say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, and do not fear,
for your God is coming to destroy your enemies.
He is coming to save you.”
The enemy is fear, depression, anxiety, addiction, grief and the whole rest of the list of things that take over humankind’s lives.
Make God your god! Do it now, right now while you are still getting ready for a day of uncertainty. These things are coming for you but God is going to destroy them and save you.
Just make God you god.
Put the job behind him. Put those people behind him. Put that uncertainty behind him. Put anything that has caused you not to see him behind him, so that HE is the prominent figure in your thoughts and actions, hopes and dreams and your reasons to get up in the morning.
No, work isn’t where I want to be this morning. But I’m not going to be there alone, even if I am the only one that shows up. God is coming with me and my enemies are cruisin’ for a bruisin’ today.