Saturday Night Live used to have a segment by Stuart Smalley. Stuart liked to give daily affirmation.

“Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!”

Stuart was not good enough even though he repeated that phrase over and over again. It seems like in the comedy world, like in the real world, mere affirmation was not good enough.

I don’t know if Stuart is still around. I stopped watching Saturday Night Live a long time ago.

We laughed at Stuart for trying to talk himself into being enough. But, society today is affirming and confirming that we ARE enough. There’s no need for rules and morality. There’s not even a need for God because we are all we need.

Here’s a place where I think being as broken as I am has opened my eyes to the nonsense around me and made me perfectly content knowing that I am NOT enough and never will be.

There is not a single person on this planet that is enough!

Romans 3:23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

All of this talk about being enough, about living any way we feel like, about setting ourselves up as our own God, well, to believe that we have to toss out scripture.

This is where I feel blessed to have been through all that I have been through. I set myself up as my own God, followed my own rules which mostly served my wants and needs exclusively, only listened to my own voice for leadership and guidance and found myself wrecked, ruined and finished.

It was only when I gave it all up, destroyed my graven images of myself and turned my eyes from inward to upward that I began to be healed.

It was God and God alone that took this broken bag of bones and mended them. It was God and God alone that brought healing to a broken soul.

I am not good enough and was never good enough and I was never created to be good enough!

What a relief!

No one has ever been good enough except for the one that carried the cross in my place and hung my faults and imperfections along with him so that they may be covered in the grace and mercy of a loving father.

If you are carrying the burden of being your own God and that realization hits you that you can drop the whole act and take up the cross and follow Christ and let him fill you with goodness, BAM! That’s like waking up after a cold night to the warm glow of the sun.

Until God’s love broke through, I was lost in a fantasy, one where I was enough, where I was the center of the universe. But God’s love is so much more than I could ever be.

Yet the world around me rejects it more and more and is busy creating a place where misery and hatred are taking over.

There are haters, haters of the haters and haters of the haters of the haters. There is no middle ground. There is only us and them and everyone’s “us” is really a “me”.

When I make myself God, I disapprove of everything that goes against my theology and doctrine and I become angry and disapproving…all the time.

Today, my prayer is for God’s love to break through, for his light to begin to shine through a crack in the flawed allegiances of mankind and darkness to begin to give way to truth.

I also pray that I bow in humble reverence to the one that is good enough and chooses to dwell in me. I want to make his home a place that is worthy of such an honor.

2 thoughts on “Am I Good Enough?

  1. I, too, acted as my own God for a long time. Once I “let go and let God” and turned everything over, I found joy and serenity. Plus, my life runs a lot smoother now that I’m not in charge. Thanks for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

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