I’ve heard the phrase “You oughta be ashamed” a lot of times over the course of my life.  I’ve heard it directed at me and others.  I’ve fired it off in an attempt to induce heavy loads of guilt upon someone I am extremely displeased with.

Should we be ashamed, though?

Shame is directly related to our pride.  I feel pride.  I feed pride.  Pride goes before the fall.

Shame is usually the result of the fall.  Shame is broken pride and directly linked to our ego.

It puts our actions and the results of those actions into the sole perspective of ourselves.  For me, the only way to deal with shame is to look at what I’ve done in the perspective of Christ and his sacrifice for me.

Shame is an admission that I don’t really believe that God has purged me of my debts owed for my sin.  When I truly believe, those sins are covered in the blood of Christ and I no longer have to spend my life looking back at my mess but I can move forward into grace.

If God, the almighty, the everlasting, the eternal and the all-knowing no longer sees the cause of my shame, isn’t it about time I stop bowing before it as if it were my god?

Romans 10:If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. 11 As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. 13 For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

I guess this is why writing is so good for me.  I am no longer afraid to expose my weakness.  It doesn’t make me writhe in shame.  It announces my need for God as I openly declare that Jesus is Lord!

When I believe in my heart that I am made right with God, not through my own efforts and strength, that God has not only raised Christ from the dead but me as well, I will never be disgraced, not even by my own mind.

Just as pride needs a swift kick from the foot of humility right in the seat of the pants, shame needs a good working over.

Through Christ we are not who we were.  We are not what we did yesterday.  We are not the ghosts of our past.  We are saved.  Forgiveness swallows shame.

Believe that God can handle all your sins.  Know that he did everything it takes to make you right with him.  Leave that shame under the sacrifice Christ made and move away into the future.

No, you should not be ashamed.



6 thoughts on “You Oughta Be Ashamed

  1. What am I missing here, Mike? I’ve been pretty much nurtured in my healing to believe there’s a profound difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says I’ve done something wrong while shame says there’s something wrong with me. Example: All the verbal, physical, and sexual abuse I experienced as an adolescent. Now, what happened to me at the hands of other boys against my will was obviously very shameful to me. Did that make its something for which I needed to seek forgiveness?

    On the other hand… once I determined that same-sex attraction was a viable way to sustain male relationships I had never enjoyed in any other capacity growing up, I began to initiate said behavior, bringing the guilt mantle fully onto my shoulders. Now that was something I seriously needed to deal with in my relationship with the Lord.

    Guilt. Shame. I see some real difference there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t talk about it here but there is a clear and distinct difference between what was done to you and what was done to yourself.

      However, the shame brought on by others needs some addressing, too.

      I’m sure you know that the best cure for shame is to turn and look it right in the way and get to the heart of the matter. God’s grace wants to take that away as well. God has made you a new creation and you are no longer the sum of injustices done to you but the injustice Christ endured to free you from that.

      This piece was not really addressing this kind of shame. There is a difference between guilt and shame. But, many of the sexually abused people I deal with also feel guilty despite the fact they did nothing wrong.

      God wants all our guilt and shame, regardless if we are at fault or not.

      Forgive me for not writing quite enough about this subject today. I had no intent for anyone to take it the direction I sent you.


      1. No problemo, of course. I’m reluctant to say shame of any kind can be “cured” in any sense of the word. I certainly believe we can be healed of our shame. But we’re never cured as though something never happened. You can trust me on that.

        Liked by 1 person

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