It is pretty tough for me to put in all kinds of work, push through tough times, beat the odds, get back up time and time again and then stand at the finish line and not pause to hear the praises of those I have amazed.
I’m not actually a natural when it comes to humility.
Oh, I’m pretty good at doing the things where nothing is in it for me, as long as there’s something in it for me.
You know, like pats on the back, compliments, statements of my greatness and maybe even a fan club or a reward for being so vital to the world.
I went through a time, after I dropped the effort to accept praise with humility, when I expected it because I deserved it and I deserved it because God couldn’t get things done without me.
Let me tell you this, it was never enough. No matter how awesome someone thought I was, how elevated I was on some imaginary hierarchy of Christiandom, how freely the adoration flowed, it was never, ever enough.
See, my relationship with God isn’t my ticket into an awards show where we all get together and make each other feel like celebrities and stars.
In reality, the only award I deserved was “Best Actor” because I was acting like someone I wasn’t, working toward something I didn’t need and pretending to be Godly when I was, in fact, serving my own ego.
There are days that I sit here and write and I have to remind myself that I am not typing about what I can do but what God can do. I am under-powered for what God asks me to do unless I put aside my ego and replace my weak little efforts with his great glory.
Oh, but I want to be recognized, exemplified, glorified and chicken fried. I want to be more than I can be but the only way I can be more is to be less.
Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
I can imagine me as a rock star, even though I grunt when I get out of a chair. My imagination is powerful. It can make impossibility seem possible. But imagination can’t heal my bones and make me young and handsome again. It can only create that illusion in my mind.
But, God’s mighty power can exceed my imagination. It can go to places my mind can’t fathom. It can take me into another place. It does not matter than I am young or old, strong or weak, white or black, brilliant or a half of the founding members of Dumb and Dumber.
No matter who I am or who I am not, it is more than any limitation my mind can conjure up. I didn’t find that out until I ran face-first into my limitations and disabilities.
Many people are sitting today at the intersection of their face and limitation. I sat there for too long.
But God, in his infinite mercy picked me up and put me beyond the walls of my self.
I give glory to God for any good that comes from my efforts for without him, they are just a lot of motion, activity and rhetoric that builds nothing, says nothing and ends up in the dump of man’s schemes.
There is more than I can imagine waiting for me after the next period on the page, the next word I type or the next word I speak.
If you don’t know this, learn it. If you have forgotten, remember.