I spend some of my time visiting recovery groups. I like Celebrate Recovery. When I walk in the doors, I expect to see lots of people with all sorts of problems. Sometimes, they are struggling to hold down a job and don’t have a dime to their name. Sometimes, they have a great job and money is the least of their worries.
But as we get to know each other, we are all just a hot mess. I mean, we have all created our own brand of self-destruction and carnage and we are not quite sure just how to keep from doing it all over again.
We aren’t sure but we are growing faith in the one that is totally able to deliver us from our afflictions.
It is a refreshing time of transparency and acceptance.
Now, if you’ve read much of what I write, you probably think I do a pretty decent job of carrying my transparency out of those doors and taking it out into the big world outside of Celebrate Recovery.
I think I am getting there. It is more important to me now to be honest about who I really am with just about anybody rather than put on the mask of illusion and denial.
But, I have a long way to go into carrying acceptance out into the rest of the world.
It is easy to sit down at CR and get to know the poor guy that has been ridiculed his whole life because he isn’t GQ cover photo material, the other guy that can’t seem to leave the alcohol alone for long enough to get his act together, the woman with the life filled with regrets after making untold quantities of bad decisions.
When I arrive at CR, that is what I expect, it is what I am there for. That’s a good thing. My world as a Christian should include those that most of the world wants to avoid.
But, far too often, I leave that part of my Christian walk inside those doors.
First of all, God’s love for others needs to invade my entire life and not be confined to a room on Tuesday nights.
Second, everyone on this planet is a hot mess, not just the ones that carry failure around like an open wound. I am never ever away from people that don’t need God’s special love to work a miracle in their lives. I just close my eyes to it. I interact with their projected image of who they attempt to be and don’t try to see below the surface.
Seeing below the surface usually requires something of me when I listen to what God has to say. Seeing what is hidden cause the Spirit to move within me, waiting to be outpoured into a void. This often means sacrifice on my part.
Sacrifice cuts into my needs, my desires, my wants and sometimes I am just too selfish to allow that to happen.
But I need to learn that the sacrifice of sitting around the tables in recovery isn’t just for recovery. It is to invade my entire life. After all, recovery is the choking off of selfishness within me and the infilling of gratitude and service to others.
I’m painfully lacking here. Life has been so hard but my life is a cake walk compared to others that I see every single day.
That’s all I have for today. It may just be a bunch of mindless rambling but I am being spoken to today to let go of myself more and search the lives of others for a way to be Christ revealed to them.
So many have been that to me. I owe it to them and the one that rescued me to be the same.