I don’t want to misrepresent myself on the pages of this blog. I am NOT someone that has found all the answers to life’s problems and is just sharing with you how easy things can be.
I’m not special in any way. So don’t read this and wonder why I can live above the pain of daily affliction and addiction while you can’t.
I’m a regular guy that hurts a little every single day, that feels like giving up from time to time, gets angry driving down the highway, says hurtful things to people he loves deeply, looks back at life with guilt-ridden regret too often and the list goes on and on and on.
I’m just learning to walk on top of those things rather than carry them.
I used to think I was special, that my brand of pain was unique and that no one else could possibly understand, that my anger was worse and more complex than anyone else could have to bear, that my guilt was heavier and would crush anyone else on the planet.
I felt like a freak, living in a secret world of depression and all the bad behaviors it whispered constantly in my ear until I gave in and did them.
I write to expose that secret world, bring it into the light and show others that the voice that tells them no one else would get it, no one could understand is the voice of bondage and defeat.
No matter who or what you are and what amount of pain, fear, anger, grief, guilt, hurt or whatever it is you are feeling right now is, there is someone else willing to listen that has been there. Someone else had acted more irrationally. Someone else has felt more pain. Someone else has been more addicted. Someone else wants to help you.
When I first joined a group of people that wanted to help me, I walked into the room thinking that when they finally got to know me, they would want me gone because I was worse than them. I was too far gone. I was a hopeless case.
But they embraced me, not because of what I could be but because of how broken I was. No amount of stupid or crazy or angry could scare them away.
Slowly, my eyes opened to the fact that I was not unique and I do not have to walk a single step of my recovery alone. In fact, alone is a bad, bad word when it comes to recovery.
Don’t be alone.
For the most part, we choose to be alone. Sometimes, we can’t just choose not to feel lonely but that is not the same thing. Choose people to help you.
I chose to join a group of people that were in all different stages of getting better. I began to see myself in all of them, even if they weren’t there for the same reason as I was. I saw myself in the abused, the depressed, the addicted, I saw myself in them all and they were all walking toward something good. I practically couldn’t keep myself from walking with them.
I rarely write and tell someone else what to do. I write about my journey and what I need to do. But I can tell you, knowing that this is an absolute truth that will help you to not be alone.
Many of those that have lost the battle with their inner demons were spending time alone with those demons. Demons tend to lose their super powers when we are not alone and surround ourselves with other people that spend their days knocking the stuffing out of demons.
Ecclesiastes 4;9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Don’t fall alone, be two or three or thirty. Be an army and not a solitary man against the world and all that lies out there in it.