As I get older, the first thing I notice in the morning is the ringing in my ears. I’ve been plagued with ear troubles throughout most of my life and at this point the ringing just never goes away, complicating what is already marginal hearing.
One of my favorite things to say is, “Huh?”
I get out of bed and my back complains, my knees whine and my ankle grumbles. My right shoulder tells me if it is going to rain or not.
I can recall days where I literally sprang from the bed without a care in the world except for making a pit stop in the bathroom and grabbing a bite of breakfast before running out the door on my day’s adventure.
I don’t think I have the ability to spring from anything anymore.
But I now kind of saunter, the way I remember my Grandpa doing, and attack the day in sort of a slow stealthy mode.
I guess we all have to adjust over time. It would be easy to sit back and be depressed about wasting all my youthful energy and a healthy body on the things I once did and have what I perceive as nothing left for now at times.
Thankfully, I have recovery.
Oh I suppose it would be better to just be healthy and not have to deal with recovery. Or maybe not.
I have learned to deal with so many disappointments, struggles and pain that getting older, slower, stiffer and less energetic are just a couple more things to go after in my recovery process.
Everyone faces these things and that is one of the reasons that I feel everyone could use some sort of a recovery plan in their lives. But it isn’t for me to say what everyone needs, just to share what I need.
When the biggest obstacle of every day is depression and the bad behaviors and thought life it can cause, I have a plan of attack, principles to apply that keep me stepping on depression rather than allowing it to walk all over me.
I feel that God’s word calls out to people like me, people who need him more than the average Joe thinks he does. I’m fairly certain that without this affliction, my arrogance would get the best of me. My depression has nearly killed me at times but it now drives me further into the heart of salvation.
Romans 5:3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.
I’ve found that it is more important to endure and learn to rejoice in this life. No, I still don’t jump up and down with joy when my car breaks down. I still hop around like a moron, shouting at an inanimate object that cannot hear me. But I find joy, eventually, even when circumstances say joy is impossible.
I’m about ready to stand up and loosen up my creaky joints to head to work. I’m sure there will be trouble and hardship outside that front door. I’m also sure there will be hope.