Depression has always pushed me to isolate myself. But it doesn’t always push a man or woman into an isolation that others see well.
When I recently heard of the suicide of Chris Cornell that happened not so long after he had performed before thousands, he probably didn’t seem isolated and alone. But having stood painfully close to the place he was standing before he left this world, his problems, whatever they were, had become too much for him to bear.
The truth is, all of us bear more than we can stand to bear alone. It is the self-imposed isolation, the urge to carry what we cannot carry and the refusal to share the load that often kills us.
I can’t sit here and say, “If only this or that had happened he would still be alive.” I can’t speak into the ultimate outcome of someone taking one step in the right direction in their time of crisis. But a step in the right direction is a good start.
I only know what happened for me, the step out of my own self into a world filled with other people. I always knew they were there but I didn’t know I was a part of them.
Although I want to walk as far as I can down the path to recovery, I don’t ever want to forget that I stood on the edge of life and what it was like to live without sanity or a place in a world full of people that care about me.
I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a goal for each day.
Romans 13:9 For the commandments say, “You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.” These—and other such commandments—are summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.
Love fulfills God’s requirements. Love requires me to reach out of my isolation. Love is the one thing I can never do alone. Love needs more than one participant. Love will guide me along the path to recovery and show me sanity.
I’m called to love more than myself, more than my things, more than what I can imagine. I’m to love others, others that are happy, others that are sad, others that deserve and others that seem not to, others like me and others far different.
Love takes away my self-imposed limits, how much I can take and how much I can give, and lets me experience a way to become more than my flaws as I become a part of something bigger than what I am or what I can become.
I don’t know what all Chris Cornell or anyone else that has taken their own life needed in order for them to still be here today. But I do know that a little more love would have helped in some way.
As I sit here this morning, I can’t help but feel the need to seek someone out that is approaching that place, that point of no return and showing them some love. I know that having just plain old me to show that love isn’t like winning the lottery or anything, but I have more than what I am to give.