I wrote this four years ago. It was a good reminder for me today. Maybe it will be a good one for you as well.
So I woke up this morning. That’s a good thing. It sure beats the alternative. I was late, I didn’t feel good, I didn’t sleep good. Life this week has been hard. Not “work is stressful, the dog keeps messing up the carpet, there’s nothing good on TV, I’m tired of the rain kind of hard”. It has been the real hard. The “I don’t know if I can survive this kind of hard”. It has been the kind of hard that I have prayed I never have to face. I have had to watch people I love suffer. I have tried to help and been no help. I have felt life spinning out of control and my faith has been tested.
I have had to decide this: Am I going to prove I really believe what I claim to believe about God and His Grace? Am I going to stand firm in my faith? Am I going to let go and let God take this?
I have been preparing myself to do these things. I have prayed to be able to do them. I have tried to hear from God how to do them. I have said a lot of words proclaiming my intent to do them. All of those things are good things. All of those things are important. But now is the time to act. There is a weight on my shoulders. My feet are moving slow and I fear that I may collapse to the ground and falter under the load. Now is the time I must follow His commands. Now is the time for the rubber to hit the road. I have to take my faith out of park and put it in gear. It has to move me and take me through this. That is what I have decided to do.
Psalms 119:106 I’ve promised it once, and I’ll promise it again: I will obey your righteous regulations.
107 I have suffered much, O Lord; restore my life again as you promised. 108 Lord, accept my offering of praise, and teach me your regulations. 109 My life constantly hangs in the balance, but I will not stop obeying your instructions. 110 The wicked have set their traps for me, but I will not turn from your commandments. 111Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart’s delight. 112 I am determined to keep your decrees to the very end.
Today is for resolve. Today I must claim the promises the living God I serve has made to me. Today I must make peace with my circumstances and trust God to use them to my good, to my family’s good, because we love the Lord. Today I must lean into the Truth and not fall victim to my fears. I will be determined to keep His decrees to the very end.