I’ve learned that I need to turn my life and will over to the care of Christ. That’s a tough one to learn. Never let anyone tell you that it is easy to give up control and trust God to do what only God can do.
When it comes to putting that learned lesson into action, I am kind of like the guy struggling to gasp his next breath trying to keep from lighting up his next smoke. He knows he needs to stop but his actions get the better of him.
I know that I need to give up what I hold back from God but yet I hold on anyway.
My strength leads me to pride and selfishness but God’s strength leads me to places I can not comprehend. I can comprehend where my pride and selfishness go because I have lived in that mess a long time.
I recently realized that I need to get to know God better, not really get to know all he knows or why he does what he does but to know him.
Psalm 139:1 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,too great for me to understand!
See, he has seen the necessity to know me. If God himself must know me, I must come to know him. I must try to fathom his vastness, his presence and his power. I need to push my limited views of him past the places that I think he ends and see that he reaches far beyond them. I need to know that he is more than just the dispenser of grace but that he himself is grace and justice and love and all the things I wish I could understand more fully.
I need to strive to know him more than any other. The more I know him, the more I trust him and the better I understand that he is all I need.
That alone will make letting go easier. That alone will make me able to leave things in his hands. He is too wonderful for me and too great for me to understand but still I can know him.